How to be a good friend.
A few years ago, I was going through a rough time in my life. This was from a culmination of things, including some sinful choices on my behalf. I won’t list my sin resume (I took that phrase from Priscilla Shirer) and you don't need to either. What I was doing was causing a war inside of me. I had no peace. I was grieving the Holy Spirit and felt his sorrow, a heaviness in my spirit. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but it was hard to stop by myself. I needed help.
I tried to help myself and not tell anyone what I was doing, but one day when I was in the presence of my good friend, who is a strong Christian woman, I was compelled to tell her what I was doing. The Spirit was leading me to tell her, he knew I needed her. I followed the Spirit’s lead and poured my heart out to her. Told her what I was doing and how I was feeling.
What was her response?
We are meant to be in relationships with others and to help each other out of their sin. This is a crucial aspect in a true friendship. We can’t navigate this life alone. God knows that, too. We are to help other Christians live life honoring and glorifying God.
Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. Galatians 6:1-2 NLT
And you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering. Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives. Jude 1:22-23 NLT
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16 NLT
Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. Hebrews 12:15 NLT
If we don’t apply these verses to our friendships, some serious disaster and/ or consequences can befall our friends and the people in their lives. Remember our choices affect many people, not just ourselves.
Here’s an example:
You and another person are sitting on a bench overlooking a beautiful view off a mountain. Along comes a friend, who is blind, she is looking for you and can’t find her way. She walks very close to the edge, you want to grab her before she falls, but the person sitting next to you stops you.
“Let her do what she wants. It’s her life.” The other person says to you.
“Yes, but she’s blind and can’t see where she is going. I’m her friend and I need to warn her of the danger of falling off the cliff.”
“Yolo. Why are you judging her?” The person asks.
“What? How is that judging? I love her and want what’s best for her,” you answer.
“Maybe she needs to be hurt, so she won’t do it again.”
“If she falls off a cliff she will be seriously hurt or may die. I would want her to help me if I was close to a cliff,” you say.
You jump off the bench and run over to your friend just as she was about to step off the ledge. You saved her life and she is forever grateful for you. She knows not to go out there alone ever again.
That story is a little far - fetched but you get the point. We aren’t being good, loving and helpful friends when we let our friends continue down the wrong path. On the other hand, we need to be able to receive help and correction from our friends, and not be offended.
People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life,
but those who ignore correction will go astray. Proverbs 10:17 NLT
Being a good friend involves many aspects, but it comes down to one basic thing. Loving each other like Jesus loves us.
Dear Lord, I pray that we will hide your word in our hearts, so we won’t sin against you. Thank you for the act of friendships and all the joy and help it brings. Thank you for being our friend. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
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Is it true love? Take the true love quiz!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
True Love Quiz
Directions: Read each question and answer Yes or No. Give 2 points for every yes answer. Subtract 1 point for each no answer. Add and/ or subtract points to find out if this is true love.
9-12 points = It’s strong like leading to true love!
5-8 points = You need to rethink this relationship.
0-4 points = Definitely not true love. Toxic relationship. Break up now.
Do those quiz questions sound familiar to you? Where is that found? In the love chapter of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13! You are correct.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthian 13: 4-7 NLT
The true love quiz is just a fun thing to do. It’s not a real quiz that can tell us if we have definitely found true love. However, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is how Jesus love is for us and how we should truly love others. These scriptures are a guide for how we are to love others. I say guide because we are imperfect people and we may do some of the negative or opposite things of love (I know I have) to our loved ones. When we do those negative things, we need to check ourselves and get back on the right path of true love. We need to stay mindful of how we love others.
Although that quiz is for fun, there is truth in it. If you took the quiz and realized that you answered many no’s, you may be in an unhealthy relationship. A relationship that adds value to our lives, should be positive and life affirming; not negative and draining. A good relationship is healthy, if it’s not healthy than it’s not going the way God created relationships.
Do you want to find true love? Jesus’ love is the ultimate true love. He is ready to fill your heart, body, soul and spirit with his unfailing love. All you need to do is trust and believe that Jesus is Lord. No one can truly love the way Jesus loves us. Thank you, Jesus for your true unfailing love!
Happy Valentine’s day! May you experience the grace, mercy, comfort, peace and ultimate true love of Jesus now and forever. Amen.
Thanks for reading! Hope you get some good chocolate on this day of love. Sign up for the fabulous faith – filled woman’s list, share, like, comment and follow me. Spread love with a tee from the Love Letter Collection! Love ya!
It's the month of love! You know I had to talk about love. Do you feel loved?How do you know you are loved? Do you get butterflies in your stomach, a feeling like your heart is full or dizziness when you feel the love? Learn what speaks to you of love. Write it in the comments if you know your love language. My love language is acts of service.
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Music: Big Bird's Date Night (Full) by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
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Christina Leeman MPH, CHES, writer and health educator, emboldens women to be the She Who Honors God with her all - body, thoughts, words, actions.
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