Marriage series pt3: sacrifice
The last of the Marriage Series focuses on sacrifice. When we are truly in love there are sacrifices that we are willing to make. The blog post What Love Is goes into love and its characteristics, listen to that again if you need a reminder.
As I have said before in previous posts; love should never hurt you physically or emotionally. It is not a healthy relationship when one is manipulative, abusive (emotional and physical), selfish, bullies, etc. I pray you don’t even get close to someone like that (see healthy relationship post for more info and free tool). Literally dying because of someone is not the sacrifice you want to make. If you are in a domestic abuse situation, call the National Domestic Violence Helpline now at 1-800-799-7233.
To sum it up, the marriage covenant is very similar to the New Covenant and its Peacemaker, Jesus. Jesus is God’s covenant with us. Jesus is the blood covenant that covers our sins and forgives us, the gate to heaven. (There is so much more on that subject that I would be writing for days! That will be a future post.)
“It puts the law within us, writes it on our hearts
It makes God our God, and us his people.
We will know the Lord – small or great in the eyes of others –
We will know him!
Our iniquities will be forgiven; our sin remembered no more!”1 (see Hebrews 8:10 – 12 NASB).
Thank you for reading, watching and listening to the Marriage Series! Please subscribe for blog updates. Like, follow and share! Love ya.
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Christina Leeman, MPH, CHES
Two Shall Become One
Learn more about the covenant of marriage and God's design for sex. There is more to sex then pleasure, pregnancy and STD's. This is the truth given to you in love, it may sting a little but it will help your quality of life.
Warning: There will be talk about sex, but not in a derogatory way, but in the way God designed it in the context of marriage.
I volunteered and worked at a pregnancy resource center for a total of six years. It was very hard work, yet I loved helping, crying with, praying for, empowering and educating all the various girls, women and men that came to the center. Those who came to the center would bear their hearts to us, we knew more than their families and loved ones at times (there was a strict confidentiality agreement in place as well).
What was so heart breaking was how common it was for these young ladies (ages 13 – 21) who were pregnant or had young children to be sad, depressed or heartbroken because of the baby’s father. The common themes were he was in jail, absent, abusive, sired other children around the same age and/ or not “ready to be married”. These ladies didn’t know those feelings were caused from the bond they made by having sex was broken. Many aren’t taught the truth about sex and its emotional and physical consequences, more than pregnancy and STD’s.
The topic of bonding and pre – marital sex is very lengthy (a whole books worth), so I will talk on one main point to illustrate. The neurochemical Oxytocin is important to bonding and healthy sex. It is found in both sexes but is primarily active in females. Oxytocin is released when there is meaningful or intimate touching with another individual, sexual intercourse and other reasons that are beyond this post. The action of oxytocin for these reasons are bonding and trust in the other person.
When two people touch each other in a warm, meaningful and intimate way oxytocin is released into the woman’s brain. Oxytocin does two things: it increases a woman’s desire for more touch and causes the bonding of the woman to the man she has been spending time in physical contact with. This often leads to sexual intercourse, the most intimate of physical contact. With sexual intercourse, the woman’s brain is flooded with oxytocin, causing her to desire the same type of contact over and over again, producing stronger bonding. This bond is real and cannot be undone without great emotional pain. It causes the brain cells to bind individuals together.
However, Oxytocin doesn’t care about the character of the man a woman is with. It is an automatic chemical process of the brain. It can cause a woman to bond with a man that she knows is not the right man for her, making it harder for her to separate from him.
I am not trying to make anyone feel guilty, I am giving you knowledge to make the right choices for yourself and your future, to live an abundant life. Take your time and wait to have sex until you are married. If you are having sex, stop until you get married. If your man gets mad about it, then maybe he isn’t right one for you.
This also has implications for men as well, but I am focusing on the ladies. There are more consequences that happens emotionally and physically when you have premarital sex, especially when you are under 20. God knows what he is doing!
As stated before: this is very lengthy, and I go very in depth in my book. One of God’s design for sex to be in the context of marriage is bonding. This bond helps to keep the man and woman together in relationship, a long-term connectedness, to raise children together.
Genesis 2:24 (NIV) says, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” When a Husband and wife have sexual intercourse they become one, a unit, a sense of connectedness, the other part of a covenant. You go through life together working in tandem through problems, good times, sad times and ordinary times. It is a connectedness like no other.
With God in your marriage it will not be easily broken. Keeping a right relationship with God makes your marriage stronger. If you would like to know more about having a relationship with God, please contact me at Christina@SheWhoHonors.com , go to a good Bible based church, talk to a true Christ follower you may know. Next Wednesday will be the third and last part of the marriage series: Sacrifice.
Thank you for reading! Remember to sign up for blog updates, like, share and follow me! Love ya!
Marriage Series Part 1: The Binding Agreement
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Introducing The Marriage Series part one: The binding agreement. A three part indepth look at what marriage is. What does marriage have to do with health you say? Good quality marriage does wonders for a persons well being.
16 years ago, October 27, 2001 I married the love of my life. It was a day I will never forget. It was my own little fairytale.
When my husband proposed to me I was clueless that this was even going to happen! My parents knew because he asked for my hand in marriage. It happened August 4th, 2000 during a date at a very nice Portuguese restaurant. After we ate our dinner, the waiter asked if we would like dessert and I said no thanks. My then boyfriend said, yes you would like dessert!
The waiter brought out a tray filled with rose petals and placed it in front of me.
“Where’s the dessert?” I said. Meanwhile, my husband was out of his seat and on his knees by my side. I looked down at him and was speechless! He reached onto the platter and picked up the ring box that was hidden under the petals.
I was crying, shaking, happy, nervous, feeling all types of emotions and deaf – because I couldn’t hear what he asked me. Even though I knew what he was asking me. He asked me again, and I said yes!
The whole restaurant was watching and clapped when I said yes. These were the days before everyone had a cell phone, so no it wasn’t posted on YouTube. But I remember it like it was yesterday.
Being married is wonderful. I love having him by my side, he is my biggest fan and me his. But it hasn’t always been a bed of roses. We have responsibilities that we have to work at to keep our love going strong. But it is so worth it and makes me have a better quality of life.
According to PewResearch.org 88% of people surveyed cited love as the top reason to get married. However, marriage is on the decline; half of Americans ages 18 and over were married in 2015, compared with 72% in 1960.1 34% of people aged 25-34 would like to get married but don’t feel financially prepared for the commitment.1… News flash!! You may never feel financially ready for marriage. If you are in love and can’t live without that special someone you will make a way, sacrifice is a part of marriage – we’ll cover that later.
Even though marriage is on the decline, I believe most ladies want to get married – to have their man they love get down on one knee and declare his love and his need for her to spend the rest their lives together. Most of us want to have that special someone to share life and grow old with. Every lady has the same reaction when her guy gets down on one knee. Jumping, crying, shaking, laughing, etc. Just watch some of the proposal videos on YouTube.
Marriage is not to be taken lightly. Marriage is a covenant. “A covenant is a serious binding agreement between two parties – one that carries with it not only certain blessings but also responsibilities. A covenant carries with it a sense of connectedness of two becoming one.”2 This definition is from Kay Arthur’s Covenant God’s Enduring Promises Bible study workbook. Covenants involve sacrifice and celebration.
This binding agreement is between three people: man, woman and God. The Lord is the witness between the marriage covenant. Each party in this agreement has certain responsibilities to uphold. For example, the wedding vows: For Richer or poorer, in sickness and health, etc. Those are some of the responsibilities that you are agreeing to uphold. God’s blessing and covering is upon this covenant.
Thanks for reading the Marriage series part one: The binding agreement. Next post will be part two: two shall become one. Please follow me on Instagram, fb, twitter and or YouTube. Don’t forget to check out the Love Letter Collection and sign up for the faith – filled fabulous woman list. Love ya!
Christina Leeman MPH, CHES (Certified Health Education Specialist) emboldens Christian women to live lives worthy of God.
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